Tag Archives: humor

10 Economics short jokes

Jokes and stand-up comedians on Economy and Finance

Here are 10 short jokes + some extra jokes about economics and economists, some of them made up by economists themselves. Have fun and remember what Oscar Wilde used to say: Life is too important to be taken seriously. So, without further ado, keep calm and let the fun begin!

‚ÄėI‚Äôm a walking economy, you know‚Äô
‚ÄėHow so?‚Äô
‚ÄėMy hairline is in recession, my stomach is always in inflation, and these two together bring me into a deep depression‚Äô

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. (Sam Ewing)

Did you know economists have predicted sixty out of the last five recessions?

‚ÄúYou know it’s said that an economist is a man who, when he finds something that works in practice, wonders if it works in theory.‚ÄĚ ‚Äď Walter Heller

Q: Why are Women more pessimistic about the economy than Men? A: Because men are in charge of the economy!

There were two economists who were shipwrecked on a desert island. They had no money but over the next three years, they made millions of dollars selling their hats to each other.

Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck? He forgot to seasonally adjust.

Why was astrology invented? So economics would seem like an accurate science.

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? Seven, plus/minus ten.

Extra jokes

Economists do it with models

‚ÄúWe have 2 classes of forecasters: Those who don’t know . . . and those who don’t know they don’t know. ‚Äú – John Kenneth Galbraith.

What did the ruthless businessperson say to their employees?   If at first you don‚Äôt succeed, you‚Äôre fired!

Business is up and down at the moment; I sell yo-yos.

The banker fell overboard from a friend‚Äôs sailboat.  The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, ‚ÄúCan you float alone?‚ÄĚ  ‚ÄúObviously,‚ÄĚ the banker replied, ‚Äúbut this is a heck of a time to talk business.‚ÄĚ

My boss asked me to put a joke on the first slide of the presentation…apparently a picture of my pay slip wasn’t what he was looking for.

When I was younger, I really wanted to be a banker…but I kept losing interest.

What‚Äôs the best way of making a small fortune in the stock market?   Starting off with a large fortune.

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, “Lets smash the can open with a rock.” The chemist says, “Let’s build a fire and heat the can first.” The economist says, “Lets assume that we have a can-opener…”

memes for economists, accountants and financiers
Don’t miss out on Memes for economists, accountants and financiers!

Don’t forget to visit the Humour section of this blog. I wish you a happy Christmas and a happy new year! Hopefully there are far better things ahead than any we leave behind. (Brad Paisley). So learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow (CS Lewis).

Traducciones literales desternillantes · Hilarious literal translations

El arte de las traducciones literales

Ling√ľistas, traductores, fil√≥logos… todos intentamos no re√≠rnos de estas bromas hechas a base de traducir literalmente al ingl√©s expresiones muy castizas, pero √Ālex, un amigo, me ha enviado estas fotos tan divertidas de unos carteles encontrados en un bar de Madrid. No recuerda el nombre del establecimiento, as√≠ que, si alguien lo conoce, que nos lo comunique en comentarios, por favor.

Huelga decir que dichos carteles se elaboraron con una intenci√≥n c√≥mica, pero por si las moscas (for if the flies just in case), he a√Īadido la traducci√≥n al ingl√©s correcta (es decir, tal como se dir√≠a en el idioma de Shakespeare). Aunque ¬°C√°gate, lorito! (Shit yourself little parrot! Holy shit!) S√≥lo hay una cuya traducci√≥n se me resiste: la √ļltima. A ver si alguien da con ella.

Vamos all√°:

¬°Mira t√ļ por donde!

chistes de idiomas

Una manera m√°s correcta de traducir esta expresi√≥n ser√≠a: It’s such a coincidence!

Va a ser la leche

Otras maneras¬†m√°s correctas de traducir esta expresi√≥n ser√≠an: (to) be the best! (to) be the greatest! (to) be really something (¬°Eres la leche! = You’re really something!)

La alegría de la huerta

Otra manera m√°s adecuada de traducir esta expresi√≥n tan t√≠pica ser√≠a…

to be the life and soul of the party

Estar a dos velas

literal translations

Una manera más correcta de traducir esta expresión sería: (to) be broke. También not have two pennies to rub together o (to) be skint

¡Ostras Pedrín!

La expresi√≥n tiene su origen en¬†un tebeo nacido a mediados del siglo XX que se hizo muy popular en Espa√Īa, llamado “Roberto Alc√°zar y Pedr√≠n”.
En dicho cómic el personaje de Roberto Alcázar solía dirigirse de esta manera al personaje de Pedrín. Con el tiempo, la frase se incorporó al habla coloquial habitual del país.

La traducción de ésta ya parece misión imposible. Si tenéis alguna sugerencia no dudéis en apuntarla en comentarios.

Si te ha gustado esta publicaci√≥n, quiz√°s te gustar√°…

Expresiones espa√Īolas muy propias traducidas al ingl√©s correctamente

Tongue twisters in English, French and Spanish (trabalenguas en ingl√©s, franc√©s y espa√Īol)

Los sistemas económicos explicados con,,, Vacas

Memes para traductores e intérpretes

 Humor para traductores: instrucciones de una sandwichera

Teo-Ría del lenguaje: Chistes para filólogos, traductores y profesores de idiomas de [Chomskies, Nohay]

Memes para Economistas, financieros y contables

Memes para economistas, financieros y contables… o contadores.

Para reírse de la economía, de los mercados, de los balances y por qué no, de uno mismo (que siempre me ha parecido un indicio claro de inteligencia, espero que te lo tomes con sentido del humor en caso de que seas economista, contable o financiero), aquí te dejo una serie de memes relacionados con la economía, las finanzas y la contabilidad:

memes sobre economía

El Brexit ha sido uno de los temas estrella este a√Īo. Algunos dicen que 2016 ha sido el a√Īo en que el mundo anglosaj√≥n se ha vuelto loco. En fin, como se suele decir, el tiempo dar√° o quitar√° razones.

meme economía
in: dentro out: fuera
memes dobre economía finanzas contabilidad
citas frases célebres memes economía
memes economía usa eeuu

Los memes del chino telible se han hecho célebres. Aquí va otra variante, en este caso sobre el paradójico sistema económico chino.

meme chino telible

El gran dilema de siempre: ¬Ņdebe intervenir el Estado para asegurar coberturas y servicios a sus ciudadanos o debe dejarse que el mercado se encargue de proveer? Una ardua batalla que se viene fraguando desde incluso antes de Hayek y Keynes.

Hayek contra Keynes, la pelea del siglo (con subt√≠tulos en espa√Īol)

memes de finanzas economía contabilidad meme
meme sobre los mercados memes finanzas economía contabilidad

Divertida parodia de el lobo de Wall Street.

meme crisis financiera
Traducci√≥n: “Esta vez es diferente Las m√°s peligrosas palabras en inversi√≥n son”.
1088729
images
humor para economistas financieros y contables
meme economía memes
meme economista





24800561

Una frase de Alfred Marshall refiri√©ndose a sutilidades ling√ľ√≠sticas no pod√≠a faltar en este blog.

memes quotes Alfred Marshall
En su uso com√ļn, casi cada palabra tiene muchas sombras de significado, por lo que debe ser interpretada por su contexto.

√Čste est√° en portugu√©s pero se entiende…

memes de economía economistas
memes sobre economía
24800912
memes financieros
meme Lenin economía economistas
memes economía
meme fusiones y adquisiciones finanzas financieros
Traducción: Fusiones y Adquisiciones. Sociedades practicando sexo
memes-de-contadores

Si no habéis visto Pulp Fiction pierde bastante gracia, pero para aquellos economistas, financieros o contables / contadores fans de Tarantino, ahí va el siguiente meme.

memes de economía finanzas
Di EBITDA otra vez
memes de economía finanzas contabiilidad
quotes

La economía explicada con vacas (haz clic en la vaca)

vaca-meme

Financial Translator

Traducción financiera

Otros enlaces divertidos

En espa√Īol:

Humor para contables / contadores: el IVA

En inglés:

Memes for Economists, financiers and accountants (English)

Funny videos about economics and accounting (English)

Memes for translators and linguists

regalos-para-economistas-financieros-contables

Funny videos about economics and accounting

Humour: Principles of Economics and The Audit

Principles of economics


Presented at the AAAS humor session, February 16, 2007.

Monty Python – The Audit

Financial Translation Online Course

(A small board meeting. An accountant stands up and reads…)

Accountant (Michael Palin): Lady Chairman, sir, shareholders, ladies and gentlemen. I have great pleasure in announcing that owing to a cutback on surplus expenditure of twelve million Canadian dollars, plus a refund of seven and a half million Deutschmarks from the Swiss branch, and in addition adding the debenture preference stock of the three and three quarter million to the directors’ reserve currency account of seven and a half million, plus an upward expenditure margin of eleven and a half thousand lira, due to a rise in capital investment of ten million pounds, this firm last year made a complete profit of a shilling.

Chairman (Graham Chapman): A shilling Wilkins?

Accountant: Er, roughly, yes sir.

Chairman: Wilkins, I am the Chairman of a multi-million pound corporation and you are a very new chartered accountant. Isn’t it possible there may have been some mistake?

Accountant: Well that’s very kind of you sir, but I don’t think I’m ready to be Chairman yet.

Board Member (John Cleese): Wilkins, Wilkins. This shilling, is it net or gross?

Accountant: It’s British sir.

Chairman: Yes, has tax been paid on it?

Accountant: Yes, this is after tax. Owing to the rigorous bite of the income tax five pence of a further sixpence was swallowed up in tax.

Board Member: Five pence of a further sixpence?

Accountant: (eagerly) Yes sir.

Chairman: Five pence of a further sixpence?

Accountant: That’s right sir.

Chairman: Then where is the other penny?

Accountant: Er…

Board Member: That makes you a penny short Wilkins. Where is it?

Accountant: Erm…

Chairman: Wilkins?

Accountant: (in tears) I embezzled it sir.

Chairman: What all of it?

Accountant: Yes all of it.

Board Member: You naughty person.

Accountant: It’s my first. Please be gentle with me.

Chairman: I’m afraid it’s my unpleasant duty to inform you that you’re fired.

Accountant: Oh please, please.

Chairman: No, out!

Accountant: (crying) Oh… (he leaves)

Chairman: Yes, there’s no place for sentiment in big business.

(He goes over to a wall plaque ‘There is no place for sentiment in Big Business’. He turns it over. On the back it says ‘He’s right you know’.)

Bishop (Terry Jones): (to Chairman) Oh you’re no fun anymore.

(Camel Spotting man comes running in shouting.)

Spotter (Eric Idle): I heard that. Who said that?

All: (pointing at the bishop) He did! He did!

Bishop: No I didn’t.

All: Ooh!

Spotter: Right!

(Shot of the bishop bound and gagged and tied across a railway line.)

Voice Over (Eric Idle): Here is the address to complain to…

(Caption on screen : ‘MR ALBERT SPIM, I,OOO,OO8 LONDON ROAD, OXFORD’ But he reads:)

Voice Over: The Royal Frog Trampling Institute, 16 Rayners Lane, London, W.C. Fields. I’ll just repeat that…

(Caption on screen : ‘FLIGHT LT. & PREBENDARY ETHEL MORRIS, THE DIMPLES, THAXTED, NR BUENOS AIRES’ He reads over it:)

Voice Over: Tristram and Isolde Phillips, 7.30 Covent Garden Saturday, near Sunday, and afterwards at the Inigo Jones Fish Emporium.

(Cut to Jewish figure.)

Jewish Figure (Michael Palin): And they want to put the licence fee up?

Financial Translation Online Course



By Financial Translator

Humor para contables: El IVA

La trinca: El IVA hecho f√°cil

¬ŅQui√©n dijo que la contabilidad no tiene guasa? Ah√≠ va una canci√≥n sobre el IVA del m√≠tico grupo La Trinca, de cuando el IVA, a√Īos ha , se introdujo por primera vez en Espa√Īa. Ha llovido mucho, pero la canci√≥n sigue siendo graciosa…

Espa√Īol: Impuesto sobre el valor A√Īadido (IVA)

IVA en Inglés: Value-Added Tax (VAT)

IVA en Francés:  Taxe sur la Valeur Ajoutée (TVA)

IVA en Alemán: Mehrwertsteuer (MwSt.)

Vea más enlaces a artículos interesantes para economistas y contables al final de esta publicación.

Letra de la canción: El IVA

Ay que el IVA ya está aquí ,Ay que el IVA ya llegó
Es moderno por que sí
Y en Europa hace furor
Como somos de los pocos que lo saben calcular
Si nos prestas tu atención te lo vamos a explicar

S√ļmale el gravamen del pasivo del sobrante
Y a la base imponible de la parte contratante
La porrata transitoria a simular
Deducida de la cuota del valor a amortizar
Quítale el montante del volumen soportable
Y repercute en el activo del valor incrementable
Y le a√Īades 4 duros al sumar por si te has equivocado
Que también puede pasar
Cuando llegue la liquidación hay que calcular con atención
Bienes y servicios con activos y pasivos
De la cuota tributaria más el precio de inflación
Si tienes derecho a deducción esto simplifica la cuestión
Parte el coeficiente por el tipo por impositivo
De la tasa que se aplica sobre cada operación
Y con todo ello y dos camiones de facturas y recibos
te presentas en hacienda cuando el gran momento ineludible de cumplir con el deber de tributar
Se le suma se le resta se le pone se le quita se le mete se le saca
Se captura se comprueba se repasa y el montante resultante es lo que tienes que pagar

Se ha entendido ¬°¬°¬°NO!!!!
Se repite ¬°¬°¬°SI!!!!!

S√°cale los ojos al gravamen sumergible
Y estrang√ļlale la cuota por la base disponible
Y al pasivo me lo pones a parir
Achac√°ndole la tasa del valor a deducir
Dale los tributos al volumen soportable
Y repercute brutalmente en el valor incrementable
Y al montante me lo agarras al pasar
Y le metes por el IVA el valor a amortizar
Cuando llegue la liquidación hay que calcular con atención
Para que la coz que le propines a la cuota tributaria
Le provoque una inflación
Si tienes derecho a deducción
Esto simplifica la cuestión
Dale en pleno fisco acitejo impositivo
Con la tasa que se aplica sobre cada operación
Y con todo ello y dos camiones de facturas y recibos
te presentas en hacienda cuando llega el gran momento ineludible
de cumplir con el deber de tributar
Se la suma se la resta se la pone se la quita
Se la mete se la saca se captura se comprueba se repasa y el montante resultante es lo que tienes que pagar

Teo-ría de los mercados humor para economistas financieros y contables

¬ŅQu√© es el IVA?

El impuesto sobre el valor agregado o impuesto sobre el valor a√Īadido es una carga fiscal sobre el consumo, es decir financiado por el consumidor, aplicado en muchos pa√≠ses, y generalizado en la Uni√≥n Europea, conocido tambi√©n por sus iniciales IVA.

El IVA es un impuesto indirecto; no es percibido por el fisco directamente del tributario, sino por el vendedor en el momento de toda transacción comercial (transferencia de bienes o prestación de servicios). Los vendedores intermediarios tienen el derecho a reembolsarse el IVA que han pagado a otros vendedores que los precedieron en la cadena de comercialización (crédito fiscal), deduciéndolo del monto de IVA cobrado a sus clientes (débito fiscal), y debiendo abonar el saldo al fisco. Los consumidores finales tienen la obligación de pagar el IVA sin derecho a reembolso, lo que es controlado por el fisco, obligando a la empresa a entregar justificantes de venta al consumidor final e integrar copias de éstas a la contabilidad en la empresa.

 Ver también:

Grandes Personajes y Personajillos





Películas, documentales y libros

By Financial Translator

Traducción financiera

Finance and Economics Memes

Finance and Economics Memes and jokes

memes-economy-finance-accounting-meme-economists-financiers-accountants-accountancy

Finance quotes:

About the time we can make the ends meet, somebody moves the ends. Herbert Hoover

A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it. William Feather

Memes for economists, financiers and accountants

Finance jokes:

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What do two plus two equal?” The mathematician replies “Four.” The interviewer asks “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says “Yes, four, exactly.”

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The accountant says “On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.”

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, “What do you want it to equal”?

Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it!”

A mathematician, a theoretical economist, and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn’t really exist) in a closed room with the lights off. The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn’t exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital. The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn’t exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy. The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spends one hour looking for the black cat that doesn’t exits and shouts from inside the room that he has caught it by the neck.”

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. J. Paul Getty

economics memes
memes for economists, financiers and accountants

The people who know personal finance hide the money very carefully. James Altucher

Memes and jokes about economy, finance and accountancy

Jokes:

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes one and gives it to someone else.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and gives you the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and sells you the milk.
MILITARY DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The state takes both of them, accidentally kills one and spills the milk in the sewer.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair “Cowgate”.

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows.

Financial Translation: Online Course:




Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows,

Work
———- = Power
Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time =Money, we have

Work
——— = Knowledge
Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Work
———– = Money
Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the more money you Make.

Embedded image permalink
Embedded image permalink

Heard at the Wharton School.

Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. “973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” Man picks one up and begins to walk away.

“Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” Man says sure. “You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?”

“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”

Three guys decide to play a round of golf: a priest, a psychologist, and an economist.

They get behind a *very* slow two-some, who, despite a caddy, are taking all day to line up their shots and four-putting every green, and so on. By the 8th hole, the three men are complaining loudly about the slow play ahead and swearing a blue streak, and so on. The priest says, “Holy Mary, I pray that they should take some lessons before they play again.” The psychologist says, “I swear there are people that like to play golf slowly.” The economist says, “I really didn’t expect to spend this much time playing a round of golf.”

By the 9th hole, they have had it with slow play, so the psychologist goes to the caddy and demands that they be allowed to play through. The caddy says O.K., but then explains that the two golfers are blind, that both are retired firemen who lost their eyesight saving people in a fire, and that explains their slow play, and would they please not swear and complain so loud.

The priest is mortified; he says, “Here I am a man of the cloth and I’ve been swearing at the slow play of two blind men.” The psychologist is also mortified; he says, “Here I am a man trained to help others with their problems and I’ve been complaining about the slow play of two blind men.”

The economist ponders the situation-finally he goes back to the caddy and says, “Listen, the next time could they play at night.

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, “Lets smash the can open with a rock.” The chemist says, “Let‚Äôs build a fire and heat the can first.” The economist says, “Lets assume that we have a can-opener…”

Financial Advice Dog

All the economic systems explained with cows (click on the cow)

vaca-meme

Sources: memegenerator.com, guerrillastocktrading.com, quickmeme.com, andreafcecchin, 9gag.com, memecenter.com, quickmeme.com, memecrunch.com

Financial Translator

Humor para traductores: “Instrucciones de una sandwichera”, por Berto Romero

Humor para traductores

Vídeo: Instrucciones de una sandwichera

formación para traductores

Berto Romero en Buenafuente

Divertid√≠simo an√°lisis por parte de Berto Romero de una traducci√≥n p√©sima de las instrucciones de una sandwichera. Todav√≠a me estoy riendo y necesitaba compartirlo. Tiene momentos realmente memorables. Los adjetivos se quedan cortos para definirlo:¬†¬†gracioso, ocurrente, guas√≥n, chistoso, salado, cachondo, entretenido, ameno, distra√≠do, placentero… Aunque debo advertir a los fabricantes de sandwicheras y electrodom√©sticos en general que una mala traducci√≥n puede provocar accidentes y eso llevarlos a juicio. En fin, que la broma les puede salir muy cara.

Enlaces interesantes:

 regalos-para-linguistas-filologos-y-traductores

Humor financiero: ¬ŅC√≥mo funcionan los mercados?

EBITDA

Earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, and amortization

A company’s earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, and amortization (commonly abbreviated EBITDA,[1] pronounced¬†is an accounting measure calculated using a company’s net earnings, before interest expenses, taxes, depreciation and amortization are subtracted, as a proxy for a company’s current operating profitability, i.e., how much profit it makes with its present assets and its operations on the products it produces and sells, as well as providing a proxy for cash flow.

 

Harlem Shake en la Bolsa de Nueva York (Humor financiero)

Harlem Shake


Un poco de humor de vez en cuando no viene mal para relajarnos un poquito. Acabo de encontrar este v√≠deo en youtube, y me he re√≠do mucho. Desconoc√≠a que se hab√≠a organizado un Harlem Shake en la bolsa de Nueva York. ¬ŅQueda alg√ļn lugar d√≥nde todav√≠a no se haya perpetrado el famoso baile colectivo? Me imagino que s√≠, pero cada vez quedan menos. He intentado averiguar si se trata de un montaje, pero parece que no. El evento tuvo lugar el 23 de febrero de 2013 ¬°Ahora ya sab√©is a qu√© se refieren cuando dicen que los mercados se han vuelto locos!

Vídeo cómico sobre la crisis. Bird and Fortune РSubprime Crisis

El humor ingl√©s es uno de los m√°s inteligentes y refinados que existen. ¬†John Bird y John Fortune (Long Johns) con brillantez y precisi√≥n, describiendo el modo de pensar de la comunidad de la banca de inversi√≥n en esta entrevista sat√≠rica. Versi√≥n inglesa con subt√≠tulos en espa√Īol. Lo curioso es que, con todo, ha crecido considerablemente el volumen de documentaci√≥n a traducir (memorias, balances, cuentas anuales, prospectos, hojas t√©cnicas de fondos…) ya que la gente quiere m√°s informaci√≥n sobre sus inversiones.