Category Archives: Humor

10 Economics short jokes

Jokes and stand-up comedians on Economy and Finance

Here are 10 short jokes + some extra jokes about economics and economists, some of them made up by economists themselves. Have fun and remember what Oscar Wilde used to say: Life is too important to be taken seriously. So, without further ado, keep calm and let the fun begin!

‘I’m a walking economy, you know’
‘How so?’
‘My hairline is in recession, my stomach is always in inflation, and these two together bring me into a deep depression’

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. (Sam Ewing)

Did you know economists have predicted sixty out of the last five recessions?

“You know it’s said that an economist is a man who, when he finds something that works in practice, wonders if it works in theory.” – Walter Heller

Q: Why are Women more pessimistic about the economy than Men? A: Because men are in charge of the economy!

There were two economists who were shipwrecked on a desert island. They had no money but over the next three years, they made millions of dollars selling their hats to each other.

Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck? He forgot to seasonally adjust.

Why was astrology invented? So economics would seem like an accurate science.

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? Seven, plus/minus ten.

Extra jokes

Economists do it with models

“We have 2 classes of forecasters: Those who don’t know . . . and those who don’t know they don’t know. “ – John Kenneth Galbraith.

What did the ruthless businessperson say to their employees?   If at first you don’t succeed, you’re fired!

Business is up and down at the moment; I sell yo-yos.

The banker fell overboard from a friend’s sailboat.  The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, “Can you float alone?”  “Obviously,” the banker replied, “but this is a heck of a time to talk business.”

My boss asked me to put a joke on the first slide of the presentation…apparently a picture of my pay slip wasn’t what he was looking for.

When I was younger, I really wanted to be a banker…but I kept losing interest.

What’s the best way of making a small fortune in the stock market?   Starting off with a large fortune.

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, “Lets smash the can open with a rock.” The chemist says, “Let’s build a fire and heat the can first.” The economist says, “Lets assume that we have a can-opener…”

memes for economists, accountants and financiers
Don’t miss out on Memes for economists, accountants and financiers!

Don’t forget to visit the Humour section of this blog. I wish you a happy Christmas and a happy new year! Hopefully there are far better things ahead than any we leave behind. (Brad Paisley). So learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow (CS Lewis).

Job Application and Job Interview Humor

************************************

Cover letter: “I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company.”

That’s what we’re afraid of …

************************************

Resume: “It is my professional objective to obtain a position which
allows me to make use of my commuter skills.”

I think we can oblige.

************************************

Weaknesses: “Suffer from prickly heat in summer.”

Sounds uncomfortable.

************************************

Cover letter: “Enclosed is my resume for your viewing pleasure.”

We can hardly wait.

************************************

Cover letter: “You are privileged to receive my resume.”

We’ll try not to let it go to our heads.

************************************

Objective: “To mature in the field of human behavior.”

Good luck with that.

************************************

Experience: “10 years of experience in financial budgiting and transactions rigistering.”

But limited experience with the spell-check function.

************************************

************************************

Cover letter: “Please overlook my resume.”

If you insist.

************************************

Cover letter: “I am submitting the attached copy of my resume for your consumption.”

Yum.

************************************

Translator gets 400 words to translate.
Client : How long will it take?
Translator : About a week.
Client : A whole week for just 400 words? God created the world in 6
days.
Translator : Then just take a look at this world and afterwards take a
look at my translation.

************************************

Skills: “Grate communication skills.”

Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?

************************************

Experience: “Responsibilities included recruiting, screening,
interviewing and executing final candidates.”

Seems kind of harsh …

************************************

Cover letter: “Salary demanded – $65,000.”

Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?

************************************

Strengths: “Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.”

Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?

************************************

Education: “B.A. in Loberal Arts.”

Did you minor in ear piercing?

************************************

Cover letter: “I’ve updated my resume so it’s more appalling to
employers.”

We’re pretty shocked already …

************************************

************************************

Cover letter: “Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the
two are usually inseparable.”

Glad to hear it.

************************************

Cover letter: “My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.”

At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.

************************************

Cover letter: “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.”

That should help with the flow of information.

Job interview

Had an interview for a job as a farrier once. I was asked if I had ever shoed a horse. I said no, but I’d told a donkey to go away once.

************************************

Went for an interview and was asked about my background. I showed him my phone, with a photo of my dog going for a walk.

************************************

They say dress for the job you want, not the one you have, but going to that interview dressed as Batman didn’t get be the job.

Told them at an interview that I always gave 100%. Didn’t get the job as an exam marker.

************************************

I was at a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said
“I want you to try to sell this to me.”

So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.

Eventually he called me and said “Bring my laptop back here right now!”

I said “$200 and it’s yours.”

************************************

I was asked at an interview what my biggest weakness was and said “honesty”. The interviewer said “I don’t see that as a weakness”, and I replied “I don’t care what you think”…

*************************************

How does a freelancer define “weekend”?

Two working days till Monday.

*************************************

I was asked in an interview to describe myself in three words. I said “not very good at following instructions”.

*************************************

What kind of job are you looking for? I’m looking for a job where I am politely ignored and left to my own devices. With unlimited Internet access, doughnuts, and coffee.

*************************************

What kind of job are you looking for? Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

*************************************

Are you willing to work extra hours? Sure, as long as they’re lunch hours.

*************************************

I was asked in an interview if I could perform under pressure. I said yes, and I do a good version of Bohemian Rhapsody too.

*************************************

Interviewer: What’s your biggest weakness? Me: I don’t know when to quit. Interviewer: You’re hired. Me: I quit.

*************************************

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

*************************************

I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

*************************************

I worked at the bank as a teller for a while…until I started losing interest.

*************************************



Funny puns

Puns and wordplay jokes

Puns, also called play on words, wordplay joke or paronomasia, are a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect.

Pun in Spanish: Juego de palabras Pun in French: Jeu de mots

Funny puns 🙂

joke

  • I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

funny puns

  • The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

puns

  • What did the intransitive verb say when told it was pretty? Nothing. Intransitive verbs can’t take a complement. (>compliment)

linguistics puns

  • What kind of baby do two birds who speak different languages have? > A pidgin

costar un riñón en inglés

  • The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.

funny puns

ENglish puns

  • Do you want to hear about the pencil? Nah, its pointless.
  • Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

funny puns

La imagen puede contener: texto

  • I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
  • I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

  • I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
  • Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.

English puns

  • The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense.

fun puns

  • What nationality are you on the way to the bathroom? Russian. What are you while in the bathroom? European. Then you are Finnish.

puns

Resultado de imagen de puns

  • Whiteboards are remarkable.
  • What are you when you are on top of a car? > Winded.
  • I am so poor I can’t even pay attention.

juegos de palabras en inglés

  • What are you when you feel like a bicycle? > Too tired.
  • I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days.

  • Wanna hear a league pun? Cause I got a Zilean of them.

Resultado de imagen de puns

  • “I may be gneiss, but don’t take me for granite.” (geology)

juegos de palabras en inglés

  • What does a house wear? A dress.

pun

  • Where does Napoleon keep his armies? Up his sleevies. (sleevies = armies and sleeve)

puns

  • Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!

  • My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.

pun

puns sea mine

  • I relish the fact that you mustard the energy to ketchup to me.

  • Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

Resultado de imagen de puns

  • Its hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, they always take things litterally.
  • Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

Resultado de imagen de puns

  • Why didn’t Timmy buy a Mustang? He couldn’t afford one.

puns

  • What do you call an academically successful slice of bread? An honor roll.

funny puns

  • eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

play on words

  • I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction. 
  • A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.

  • What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag’s a big plus.

  • Midget mobsters get paid under the table.

Resultado de imagen de puns

  • What do you call a bad chemist? An Oxymoron.
  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-ticals.

play on words

  • What do you have to do to have a party in space? You have to Planet.

puns

  • Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? It was two tired

funny puns

  • What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds

memes para traductores intérpretes filólogos

grammar

  • I have a fear of speed bumps. I’ll be okay though because I’m slowly getting over it
  • If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?
  • I’ve been to the dentist many times so I know the drill.

  • A chicken crossing the road is truly poultry in motion.
  • The cartoon animator felt imprisoned by his job. He could not free himself from his cel.
  • I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.
  • Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
  • My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
  • Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

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Tongue twisters in English, French and  Spanish

Memes for translators

WTF What the Fuck in other languages

Business idioms

 

Tongue Twisters in English, French and Spanish

Tongue twisters, Virelangues, Trabalenguas

Tongue Twisters in English

  1. Rubby baby buggy bumpers
  2. She sells seashells by the seashore
  3. I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
  4. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

  1. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
    if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
    He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,
    and chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would
    if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
  2. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
  3. The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.
  4. The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sick sheep.
  5. The soldiers shoulder surely hurts.
  6. Irish wristwatch (Rhys watched Ross switch his Irish wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch).

Tongue twisters to practice the TH sound

Papa English Youtube Channel

  1. I thought of thinking of thanking you
  2. Not these things here but those things there
  3. The thirty thousand thieves thought they thrilled the throne throughout thursday.

Tongue twisters in French · Virelangues en français

DamonAndJo

  1. Si je suis ce que je suis, et je suis ce que je suis, qu’est-ce que je suis?
  2. Si mon tonton tond tontonton ton tonton sera tendu.
  3. As-tu vu le vert ver allant vers le verre en verre vert ?
  4. Je veux et j’exige du jasmin et des jonquilles.
  5. Un chasseur sachant chasser chasse sans son chien.
  6. La bébé baleine bleu balance son booty
  7. La poudre pure est pourrie pendant la période.

tongue twisters in different languages in other languages

Français avec Pierre

  1. Les chaussettes de l’archiduchesse sont-elles sèches? Archi-sèches?
  2. Si six scies scient six cyprès, six cent six scies scient sic cent six cyprès.
  3. Un chausseur sachant chasser sait chasser sans son chien.
  4. Je veut et j’exije d’exquises excuses du juge. Du juge, j’exige et je veux d’exquises excuses.
  5. Doit on-dire: seize sèches chaises ou bien seize chaisses sèches?

Tongue Twisters in Spanish · Trabalenguas en español

Videolarium

  1. Confucio confabulaba una confusa confabulación, confundido no confiaba en la confundida confabulación, que acababa de confabular.
  2. Había una chiripiorca con cien chiripiorquitos, cuando la chiripiorca piorca piorcan los chiripiorquitos.
  3. Asia, la loca que silba, si así hacia Asia, Asia hacía asi si, loca  la calaca la coloca.
  4. El Rey de Constantinopla está constantinoplizado, consta que Constanza, no lo pudo desconstantinoplizar, el desconstantinoplizador que desconstantinoplizare al Rey de Constantinopla, buen desconstantinoplizador será.
  5. Nadie silba como Silvia silba, porque el que silba como Silvia silba, Silvia le enseñó a silbar.
  6. Compadre, cómpreme un coco. Compadre, coco no compro, que el que poco coco como, poco coco compra.
  7. De balas habla Alba de balas Alba habló, si de balas no habla Alba, de balas y de Alba hablo yo.
  8. Para la Lola una lila le di a la Adela, mas la tomó la Dalila y yo dije: ¡Hola, Adela! Dile a Dalila que dé la lila a la Lola.
  9. Fábulas fabulosas hay en fabulosos fabularios,
    fabuladores y fabulistas hacen fábulas fabulosas;
    pero la fabulosidad de las fábulas del fabulista
    no son fabulosas si no hace un fabulario de fábulas.
  10. ¡Qué triste estás, Tristán,
    tras tan tétrica trama teatral! No lo apoca poco,  lo no poco que apocapas.

cursos de Udemy para traductores intérpretes blogeros

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Bills – Facturas – factures traducción Luchmoney Lewis

LunchMoney Lewis – Bills

Lyrics

I got Bills I gotta pay

So I’ma gonn’ work work work every day
I got mouths I gotta feed,

So I’ma gonn’ make sure everybody eats
I got Bills!!All these bills pile up my desk
They looking like a mount’
All the little kids run around
I can hear their stomach growl
Touching for a moon out
And my girl just don’t know how
Said she gonna leave me if I don’t home with $50
$50? God damn, god damn, god damn, god damn
Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man
God damn, oh man, god damn, oh manI got Bills I gotta pay
So I’m gonn’ work, work, work every day
I got mouths I gotta feed
So I’m gonn’ make sure everybody eats
I got BillsWoke up and I bumped my head
Stumped my toe on the edge of the bed
Opened the fridge and the food all gone
Leaving everybody, crap them along
Hopped in the car and the car won’t start
It’s too damn hot but I still gotta walk
My honey old lady and of course will not
Praying that my card won’t get declined
God damn, god damn, god damn, god damn
Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man
God damn, oh man, god damn, oh man

I got Bills I gotta pay
So I’m gonn’ work, work, work every day
I got mouths I gotta feed
So I’m gonn’ make sure everybody eats
I got!

And my shoes, my shoes
I said my shoes!
Ain’t got no sole

I got Bills I gotta pay
So I’m gonn’ work, work, work every day
I got mouths I gotta feed
So I’m gonn’ make sure everybody eats
I got Bills.
I gotta pay
So I’m gonn’ work, work, work every day
I got mouths I gotta feed
So I’m gonn’ make sure everybody eats
I got Bills.

Letra en español de LunchMoney Lewis – Bills

Facturas

Tengo facturas tengo que pagar
Por eso trabajo, trabajo, trabajo cada día
Tengo bocas que alimentar
Y me aseguro  que todo el mundo come
¡Tengo facturas!
Todas esas facturas apiladas en mi escritorio
Parecen una montaña

Los peques corren a su alrededor
Puedo oír sus estómagos rugir
Aullar a la luna llena.
Y mi chica no sabe como
Dice que me va a dejar si no traigo a casa 50$
¿50$? Oh Dios, oh Dios, Oh Dios

Oh tío, oh tío, oh tío.
Oh Dios, oh tío, oh Dios, oh tío

Tengo facturas tengo que pagar
Por eso trabajo, trabajo, trabajo cada día
Tengo bocas que alimentar
Y me aseguro  que todo el mundo come
Tengo facturas
Me despierto y golpeo mi cabeza
Me doy con el dedo del píe en la pata de la cama

Abro la nevera y la comida se esfumó
Todo el mundo se las pira, a la mierda
Monto en el coche y no arranca
Hace demasiado calor y encima tengo que caminar
Una vieja espera en la cola
Rezando porque no hayan cancelado mi tarjeta

Oh Dios, oh Dios, Oh Dios
Oh tío, oh tío, oh tío.
Oh Dios, oh tío, oh Dios, oh tío

Tengo facturas tengo que pagar
Por eso trabajo, trabajo, trabajo cada día
Tengo bocas que alimentar
Y me aseguro  que todo el mundo come
Tengo facturas
Y mis zapatos, mis zapatos
Digo mis zapatos
No tienen suela

Tengo facturas tengo que pagar

Por eso trabajo, trabajo, trabajo cada día
Tengo boca tengo que comer
Y me aseguro  que todo el mundo come
Tengo facturas
Tengo facturas tengo que pagar
Por eso trabajo, trabajo, trabajo cada día
Tengo boca tengo que comer
Y me aseguro  que todo el mundo come
Tengo facturas

Traduction de Bills – Factures de LunchMoney Lewis – Bills factures Français

J’ai des factures, je dois les payer
Alors je vais travailler, travailler, travailler tous les jours
J’ai des bouches à nourrir
Alors je faire en sorte d’être sûr que tout le monde mange
J’ai des factures
Toutes ces factures s’accumulent sur mon bureau
Elles ressemblent à une montagne
Tous les petits enfants courent autour d’elles
Je peux entendre leur estomac gronder
Tellement de factures qu’avec elles je peux toucher la lune
Et ma fille ne sais juste pas comment
Elle dit qu’elle va me laisser si je ne rentre pas à la maison avec 50 dollars
50 dollars? Merde, merde, merde, merde
Oh mec, oh mec, oh mec, oh mec
Merde, oh mec, merde, oh mec
J’ai des factures, je dois les payer
Alors je vais travailler, travailler, travailler tous les jours
J’ai des bouches à nourrir
Alors je faire en sorte d’être sûr que tout le monde mange
J’ai des factures
Je me suis réveillé et je me suis cogné la tête
J’ai cogné mon orteil contre le bord du lit
J’ai ouvert le frigo et toute la nourriture avait disparu
J’ai laissé tout le monde, maudit soit-ils
Je saute dans la voiture et elle ne veut pas démarrer
Ça va être vraiment chaud mais je peux encore y aller a pied
Une vieille dame gêne sur le chemin de l’épicerie
Je prie pour que l’argent sur ma carte ne diminue pas
Merde, merde, merde, merde
Oh mec, oh mec, oh mec, oh mec,
Merde, oh mec, merde, oh mec
J’ai des factures je dois les payer
Alors je vais travailler, travailler, travailler tous les jours
J’ai des bouches à nourrir
Alors je faire en sorte d’être sûr que tout le monde mange
J’ai des factures
Et mes chaussures, mes chaussures
J’ai dis mes chaussures!
Elles n’auront pas mon âme
J’ai des factures, je dois les payer
Alors je vais travailler, travailler, travailler tous les jours
J’ai des bouches à nourrir
Alors je faire en sorte d’être sûr que tout le monde mange
J’ai des factures
J’ai des factures, je dois les payer
Alors je vais travailler, travailler, travailler tous les jours
J’ai des bouches à nourrir
Alors je faire en sorte d’être sûr que tout le monde mange
J’ai des factures

Funny videos about economics and accounting

Humour: Principles of Economics and The Audit

Principles of economics


Presented at the AAAS humor session, February 16, 2007.

Monty Python – The Audit

Financial Translation Online Course

(A small board meeting. An accountant stands up and reads…)

Accountant (Michael Palin): Lady Chairman, sir, shareholders, ladies and gentlemen. I have great pleasure in announcing that owing to a cutback on surplus expenditure of twelve million Canadian dollars, plus a refund of seven and a half million Deutschmarks from the Swiss branch, and in addition adding the debenture preference stock of the three and three quarter million to the directors’ reserve currency account of seven and a half million, plus an upward expenditure margin of eleven and a half thousand lira, due to a rise in capital investment of ten million pounds, this firm last year made a complete profit of a shilling.

Chairman (Graham Chapman): A shilling Wilkins?

Accountant: Er, roughly, yes sir.

Chairman: Wilkins, I am the Chairman of a multi-million pound corporation and you are a very new chartered accountant. Isn’t it possible there may have been some mistake?

Accountant: Well that’s very kind of you sir, but I don’t think I’m ready to be Chairman yet.

Board Member (John Cleese): Wilkins, Wilkins. This shilling, is it net or gross?

Accountant: It’s British sir.

Chairman: Yes, has tax been paid on it?

Accountant: Yes, this is after tax. Owing to the rigorous bite of the income tax five pence of a further sixpence was swallowed up in tax.

Board Member: Five pence of a further sixpence?

Accountant: (eagerly) Yes sir.

Chairman: Five pence of a further sixpence?

Accountant: That’s right sir.

Chairman: Then where is the other penny?

Accountant: Er…

Board Member: That makes you a penny short Wilkins. Where is it?

Accountant: Erm…

Chairman: Wilkins?

Accountant: (in tears) I embezzled it sir.

Chairman: What all of it?

Accountant: Yes all of it.

Board Member: You naughty person.

Accountant: It’s my first. Please be gentle with me.

Chairman: I’m afraid it’s my unpleasant duty to inform you that you’re fired.

Accountant: Oh please, please.

Chairman: No, out!

Accountant: (crying) Oh… (he leaves)

Chairman: Yes, there’s no place for sentiment in big business.

(He goes over to a wall plaque ‘There is no place for sentiment in Big Business’. He turns it over. On the back it says ‘He’s right you know’.)

Bishop (Terry Jones): (to Chairman) Oh you’re no fun anymore.

(Camel Spotting man comes running in shouting.)

Spotter (Eric Idle): I heard that. Who said that?

All: (pointing at the bishop) He did! He did!

Bishop: No I didn’t.

All: Ooh!

Spotter: Right!

(Shot of the bishop bound and gagged and tied across a railway line.)

Voice Over (Eric Idle): Here is the address to complain to…

(Caption on screen : ‘MR ALBERT SPIM, I,OOO,OO8 LONDON ROAD, OXFORD’ But he reads:)

Voice Over: The Royal Frog Trampling Institute, 16 Rayners Lane, London, W.C. Fields. I’ll just repeat that…

(Caption on screen : ‘FLIGHT LT. & PREBENDARY ETHEL MORRIS, THE DIMPLES, THAXTED, NR BUENOS AIRES’ He reads over it:)

Voice Over: Tristram and Isolde Phillips, 7.30 Covent Garden Saturday, near Sunday, and afterwards at the Inigo Jones Fish Emporium.

(Cut to Jewish figure.)

Jewish Figure (Michael Palin): And they want to put the licence fee up?

Financial Translation Online Course



By Financial Translator

Humour for Translators: Monty Python

Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook

Hungarian may be the most difficult language in the world for an English-speaker to learn, for a number of grammar, spelling, and pronunciation reasons, so misunderstandings may of course arise.

Today I rescue one of the funniest gags by Monty Python: the Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook.  So relax and have fun!

… Yes, I know they are just speaking gibberish and it’s not really Hungarian, but it’s so funny!

The Funniest Joke in the World

In my opinion, one of the best gags in the history of humour. It explains the story of the creation and the strategic military use during the Second World War of “the funniest joke in the world”.

 

Monty Python (sometimes known as The Pythons) were a British surreal comedy group who created the sketch comedy show Monty Python’s Flying Circus, that first aired on the BBC on October 5, 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series. The Python phenomenon developed from the television series into something larger in scope and impact, spawning touring stage shows, films, numerous albums, several books, and a stage musical. The group’s influence on comedy has been compared to The Beatles’ influence on music

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Financial Translation 234 Financial Translator

Memes for translators and interpreters

Translation and Interpreting Memes

Updated 2019

translating translation interpreting memes traducción interpretación traductores intérpretes
meme mountain language

Memes para traductores e intérpretes · memes pour traducteurs et interprètes

Me suena a chino en otros idiomas
expresiones idiomáticas españolas y castellanas en inglés
interpreting memes

Welcome and happy 2019! Please fasten your seatbelts and enjoy your visit. Don’t laugh too loud if you are not alone, this is what may happen…

memes for copywriters

Memes pour traducteurs et interprètes

meme langue française
prepositions you speak English very well
meme language translation French English
Si quieres algo bien hecho, hazlo tu mismo
memes para traductores
you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink

ara traductores e intérpretes

translation and interpreting memes
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Australian accent meme
grammar
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After a 30000 words translation
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frase Rajoy análisis
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Translation and interpreting memes

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memes para traductores intérpretes filólogos
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Memes for translators and interpreters memes para traductores e intérpretes linguists language memes
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Updated 2019 Actualizados a 2019

Humor for translators: Memes, Jokes, quotes and funny videos

This post will be updated from time to time.

The definition of MEME is “An idea that spreads like a virus by word of mouth, email, blogs etc”

WTF???!!!!

Chinese bad translations traduccion-mala-del-chino-al-espanol

WTF What the Fuck in other languages

Memes para traductores y lingüistas

Resultado de imagen de chino telible memes

memes hangover resacón en las vegas qué pasó ayer
quotes about beer
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memes for translators
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memes for translators
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Memes de lingüística y traducción

language memes linguistics
memes para traductores e intérpretes
humor para traductores
memes for translators interpreters Spanish memes para traductores e intérpretes filólogos español

Joke:

Two translators on a ship are talking.
“Can you swim?” asks one.
“No” says the other, “but I can shout for help in nine languages.”

memes chino telible
memes-pour-traducteurs

Joke:

A mouse is in his mouse hole and he wants to go out to get something to eat, but he’s afraid there might be a big cat outside, so he puts his ear by the opening and all he hears is “Bow Wow” so he thinks, “Well, there can’t be a cat out there because there’s a big old dog”, so he goes out of his mouse hole and is promptly caught and eaten by a cat, who licks his lips and says “It’s good to be bilingual !!”

The importance of pronunciation 🙂

On a visit to the United States, Charles de Gaulle was honoured at a banquet in the White House. Seated beside his wife was an official who spoke no French, but who tried to engage her in conversation by asking
“Madame de Gaulle, what do you think the most important thing in life is?”
“A penis”, she replied.
Overhearing, her husband said gently “I believe, my dear, that in English it is pronounced ‘appiness.”

quotes
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meme leslie chow
lo sé, soy telible
memes para traductores
Lets eat grandma

A list with interesting links for translators and interpreters appears at the end of this post. 😉

Microsoft Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop - Teclado (RF inalámbrico, PC/server, Oficina, Negro, 3m, USB)
Ergonomic Keyboard · Teclado ergonómico
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translation memes
cosas para traductores
curiosidades lingüísticas
oh you just corrected my typo tell me more about your english proficiency
cat memes
MEMETRANSLATION1
How to become a successful freelance translator
Simple White Mug - Design For Teachers Funny "Warning" " I'm a english teacher WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE " Ceramic Coffee White Mug (11 Ounce) - Best Gifts For Teachers
Click on the picture for further details.
MEMETRANSLATION2
chino telible 1
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No hay texto alternativo automático disponible.
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Mug for proofreaders. Click on the picture for more details.
MEMETRANSLATION3
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meme specialized translator

Teo-Ría del lenguaje: Chistes para traductores, filólogos y profesores de idiomas

rolleyes

 A familiar feeling for many freelance translators.

Teeburon I love Proofreader Lienzo de Pared 12 x 8 Inch. Click on the picture for further details.
memes para lingüistas
images
Maybe a too literal translation?
translation memory
Goethe-Institut e.V. (P)
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Teeburon WORLD’S BEST Translator Mug. Click on the picture for further details.
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meme chino telible
Placa  Teeburon WORLD’S BEST Translator. Click on the picture for further details.

JOKE: Two highway workers were busy working at a construction site when a big car with diplomatic license plates pulled up. “Parlez-vous français?” the driver asks them. The two workers just stared. “Sprechen Sie Deutsch?” The two continued to stare at him. “Fala português?” Neither worker said anything. “Parlate Italiano?” Still no response. Finally, the man drives off in disgust. One worker turned to the other and said, “Gee, maybe we should learn a foreign language…” “What for? That guy knew four of them and what good did it do him?”

When poor translations get dangerous
When poor translations get dangerous

Let's Have Some Fun
You can have a break while waiting for the client to give the go-ahead.
memes for translators

Joke: How does a freelancer define “weekend”? Two working days till Monday.

Language joke: A big bird goes to psychiatrist, says ‘everyone ignores me’. Psy says maybe it’s because your ostridge sized.

Marketing for translators

Online course: Marketing for Translators

meme Oscar Wilde
gifts for translators ideas funny fun original

When a fellow translator is under great stress, you can send him/her this meme: … Wise words.

Language joke: Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

Language joke: Adverb bumps into an infinitive in a bar.
Adverb: “Bit crowded in here!”
Infinitive: “It is! Shall we split?

Language joke:

Two highway workers were busy working at a construction site when a big car with diplomatic license plates pulled up.
“Parlez-vous français?” the driver asks them. The two workers just stared.
“Sprechen Sie Deutsch?” The two continued to stare at him.
“Fala português?” Neither worker said anything.
“Parlate Italiano?” Still no response.
Finally, the man drives off in disgust.
One worker turned to the other and said, “Gee, maybe we should learn a foreign language…”
“What for? That guy knew four of them and what good did it do him?”

memes linguistiques

.. I always wondered why.

Language joke:

“I’ve just had the most awful time,” said a boy to his friends. “First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy.”
“Wow! How did you pull through?” sympathized his friends.
“I don’t know,” the boy replied. “Toughest spelling test I ever had.”

memes for linguists

Language joke: A cat is sitting on the throne, and two dogs, an envoy and his interpreter, are standing before him. The interpreter dog is whispering to the envoy dog, “You’ll have to rephrase that. Their language doesn’t have a word for ‘fetch’”.

Language Joke: A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

Language joke:

The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: “I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.”
He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: “I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.”
Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. “Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose,” he typed. “Please send us two of them.”

Joke: A Spanish speaking bandit held up a bank in Tucson. The sheriff and his deputy chased him. When they captured him, and the sheriff, who couldn’t speak Spanish, asked him where he’d hidden the money. “No sé nada,” he replied. The sheriff put a gun to the bandit’s head and said to his bi-lingual deputy: “Tell him that if he doesn’t tell us where the money is right now, I’ll blow his brains out.” Upon receiving the translation, the bandit became very animated. “¡Ya me acuerdo! Tienen que caminar tres cuadras hasta ese gran arbol: allí está el dinero.” The sheriff leaned forward. “Yeah? Well..?” The deputy replied: “He says he wants to die like a man.”

cursos para traductores intérpretes y redactores
memes chino telible

Language joke: A linguist walks in to a doctor’s office and says “Doctor, I have a rash around my mouth”. After close inspection, the doctor says “hmm, looks to me like it’s perioral dermatitis,” to which the linguist replies “yeah, that’s what I said.”

memes for linguists

Language joke:

A guy, non English speaker, wanted to spend his honeymoon in London. he was convinced that the English he speaks is enough for that trip.

So, he went to London, and while they were in their hotel room, his wife told him (in their native language) that she saw a rat in the room and he should call the reception. It was a big problem for him to find the right word…. eventually he decided to call the reception:

– The reception, Good morning!
– Hello! do you know Tom and Jerry?
– Yes Sir!
– Jerry is here! come and get it out.

meme translation
online courses for translators and interpreters
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Let’s get serious…

Julio Cortázar Traductor

 If I was fond of giving advises, I would advise any young writer who finds writing difficult, to stop writing on his own for some time and to translate; to translate good literature, and some day he’ll realize that he can write with an ease he did not have before · Julio Cortázar, in Conversations with Cortázar, by Ernesto González Bermejo.

A man who knows four languages is worth four men.

Un hombre que sabe cuatro idiomas vale cuatro hombres.

pleonasmos
wisdom
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gifts for translators ideas funny fun original

Sources: www.ncihc.org, memecenter, frabz.com, memegenerator.net, weknowmemes,diylol.com, memecrunch.com, jokideo.com, uthinkido.com, www.jokideo.com, quickmeme.com, englishmemes.com, youtube, quotepixel.com, www.margokelly.net, ww.mwwtville.com, lifehack quotes, www.izquotes.com, www.brainyquote.com …

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memes quotes Alfred Marshall
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Gracias en muchos idiomas
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online courses for translators and interpreters

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Finance and Economics Memes

Finance and Economics Memes and jokes

memes-economy-finance-accounting-meme-economists-financiers-accountants-accountancy

Finance quotes:

About the time we can make the ends meet, somebody moves the ends. Herbert Hoover

A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it. William Feather

Memes for economists, financiers and accountants

Finance jokes:

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What do two plus two equal?” The mathematician replies “Four.” The interviewer asks “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says “Yes, four, exactly.”

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The accountant says “On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.”

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, “What do you want it to equal”?

Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it!”

A mathematician, a theoretical economist, and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn’t really exist) in a closed room with the lights off. The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn’t exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital. The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn’t exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy. The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spends one hour looking for the black cat that doesn’t exits and shouts from inside the room that he has caught it by the neck.”

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. J. Paul Getty

economics memes
memes for economists, financiers and accountants

The people who know personal finance hide the money very carefully. James Altucher

Memes and jokes about economy, finance and accountancy

Jokes:

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes one and gives it to someone else.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and gives you the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and sells you the milk.
MILITARY DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The state takes both of them, accidentally kills one and spills the milk in the sewer.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair “Cowgate”.

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows.

Financial Translation: Online Course:




Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows,

Work
———- = Power
Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time =Money, we have

Work
——— = Knowledge
Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Work
———– = Money
Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the more money you Make.

Embedded image permalink
Embedded image permalink

Heard at the Wharton School.

Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. “973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” Man picks one up and begins to walk away.

“Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” Man says sure. “You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?”

“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”

Three guys decide to play a round of golf: a priest, a psychologist, and an economist.

They get behind a *very* slow two-some, who, despite a caddy, are taking all day to line up their shots and four-putting every green, and so on. By the 8th hole, the three men are complaining loudly about the slow play ahead and swearing a blue streak, and so on. The priest says, “Holy Mary, I pray that they should take some lessons before they play again.” The psychologist says, “I swear there are people that like to play golf slowly.” The economist says, “I really didn’t expect to spend this much time playing a round of golf.”

By the 9th hole, they have had it with slow play, so the psychologist goes to the caddy and demands that they be allowed to play through. The caddy says O.K., but then explains that the two golfers are blind, that both are retired firemen who lost their eyesight saving people in a fire, and that explains their slow play, and would they please not swear and complain so loud.

The priest is mortified; he says, “Here I am a man of the cloth and I’ve been swearing at the slow play of two blind men.” The psychologist is also mortified; he says, “Here I am a man trained to help others with their problems and I’ve been complaining about the slow play of two blind men.”

The economist ponders the situation-finally he goes back to the caddy and says, “Listen, the next time could they play at night.

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, “Lets smash the can open with a rock.” The chemist says, “Let’s build a fire and heat the can first.” The economist says, “Lets assume that we have a can-opener…”

Financial Advice Dog

All the economic systems explained with cows (click on the cow)

vaca-meme

Sources: memegenerator.com, guerrillastocktrading.com, quickmeme.com, andreafcecchin, 9gag.com, memecenter.com, quickmeme.com, memecrunch.com

Financial Translator