Puns and wordplay jokes
Puns, also called play on words, wordplay joke or paronomasia, are a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect.
Pun in Spanish: Juego de palabras Pun in French: Jeu de mots
Funny puns 🙂
- I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.
- The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
- What did the intransitive verb say when told it was pretty? Nothing. Intransitive verbs can’t take a complement. (>compliment)
- What kind of baby do two birds who speak different languages have? > A pidgin
- The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.
- Do you want to hear about the pencil? Nah, its pointless.
- Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
- I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
- Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.
- The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense.
- What nationality are you on the way to the bathroom? Russian. What are you while in the bathroom? European. Then you are Finnish.
- Whiteboards are remarkable.
- What are you when you are on top of a car? > Winded.
- I am so poor I can’t even pay attention.
- What are you when you feel like a bicycle? > Too tired.
- I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days.
- Wanna hear a league pun? Cause I got a Zilean of them.
- “I may be gneiss, but don’t take me for granite.” (geology)
- What does a house wear? A dress.
- Where does Napoleon keep his armies? Up his sleevies. (sleevies = armies and sleeve)
- Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
- My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.
- I relish the fact that you mustard the energy to ketchup to me.
- Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
- Its hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, they always take things litterally.
- Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
- Why didn’t Timmy buy a Mustang? He couldn’t afford one.
- What do you call an academically successful slice of bread? An honor roll.
- eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
- I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.
- What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag’s a big plus.
- Midget mobsters get paid under the table.
- What do you call a bad chemist? An Oxymoron.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-ticals.
- What do you have to do to have a party in space? You have to Planet.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? It was two tired
- What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds
- I have a fear of speed bumps. I’ll be okay though because I’m slowly getting over it
- If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?
- I’ve been to the dentist many times so I know the drill.
- A chicken crossing the road is truly poultry in motion.
- The cartoon animator felt imprisoned by his job. He could not free himself from his cel.
- I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.
- Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
- My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
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