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Funny videos about economics and accounting

Humour: Principles of Economics and The Audit

Principles of economics


Presented at the AAAS humor session, February 16, 2007.

Monty Python – The Audit

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(A small board meeting. An accountant stands up and reads…)

Accountant (Michael Palin): Lady Chairman, sir, shareholders, ladies and gentlemen. I have great pleasure in announcing that owing to a cutback on surplus expenditure of twelve million Canadian dollars, plus a refund of seven and a half million Deutschmarks from the Swiss branch, and in addition adding the debenture preference stock of the three and three quarter million to the directors’ reserve currency account of seven and a half million, plus an upward expenditure margin of eleven and a half thousand lira, due to a rise in capital investment of ten million pounds, this firm last year made a complete profit of a shilling.

Chairman (Graham Chapman): A shilling Wilkins?

Accountant: Er, roughly, yes sir.

Chairman: Wilkins, I am the Chairman of a multi-million pound corporation and you are a very new chartered accountant. Isn’t it possible there may have been some mistake?

Accountant: Well that’s very kind of you sir, but I don’t think I’m ready to be Chairman yet.

Board Member (John Cleese): Wilkins, Wilkins. This shilling, is it net or gross?

Accountant: It’s British sir.

Chairman: Yes, has tax been paid on it?

Accountant: Yes, this is after tax. Owing to the rigorous bite of the income tax five pence of a further sixpence was swallowed up in tax.

Board Member: Five pence of a further sixpence?

Accountant: (eagerly) Yes sir.

Chairman: Five pence of a further sixpence?

Accountant: That’s right sir.

Chairman: Then where is the other penny?

Accountant: Er…

Board Member: That makes you a penny short Wilkins. Where is it?

Accountant: Erm…

Chairman: Wilkins?

Accountant: (in tears) I embezzled it sir.

Chairman: What all of it?

Accountant: Yes all of it.

Board Member: You naughty person.

Accountant: It’s my first. Please be gentle with me.

Chairman: I’m afraid it’s my unpleasant duty to inform you that you’re fired.

Accountant: Oh please, please.

Chairman: No, out!

Accountant: (crying) Oh… (he leaves)

Chairman: Yes, there’s no place for sentiment in big business.

(He goes over to a wall plaque ‘There is no place for sentiment in Big Business’. He turns it over. On the back it says ‘He’s right you know’.)

Bishop (Terry Jones): (to Chairman) Oh you’re no fun anymore.

(Camel Spotting man comes running in shouting.)

Spotter (Eric Idle): I heard that. Who said that?

All: (pointing at the bishop) He did! He did!

Bishop: No I didn’t.

All: Ooh!

Spotter: Right!

(Shot of the bishop bound and gagged and tied across a railway line.)

Voice Over (Eric Idle): Here is the address to complain to…

(Caption on screen : ‘MR ALBERT SPIM, I,OOO,OO8 LONDON ROAD, OXFORD’ But he reads:)

Voice Over: The Royal Frog Trampling Institute, 16 Rayners Lane, London, W.C. Fields. I’ll just repeat that…

(Caption on screen : ‘FLIGHT LT. & PREBENDARY ETHEL MORRIS, THE DIMPLES, THAXTED, NR BUENOS AIRES’ He reads over it:)

Voice Over: Tristram and Isolde Phillips, 7.30 Covent Garden Saturday, near Sunday, and afterwards at the Inigo Jones Fish Emporium.

(Cut to Jewish figure.)

Jewish Figure (Michael Palin): And they want to put the licence fee up?

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By Financial Translator

Humour for Translators: Monty Python

Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook

Hungarian may be the most difficult language in the world for an English-speaker to learn, for a number of grammar, spelling, and pronunciation reasons, so misunderstandings may of course arise.

Today I rescue one of the funniest gags by Monty Python: the Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook.  So relax and have fun!

… Yes, I know they are just speaking gibberish and it’s not really Hungarian, but it’s so funny!

The Funniest Joke in the World

In my opinion, one of the best gags in the history of humour. It explains the story of the creation and the strategic military use during the Second World War of “the funniest joke in the world”.

 

Monty Python (sometimes known as The Pythons) were a British surreal comedy group who created the sketch comedy show Monty Python’s Flying Circus, that first aired on the BBC on October 5, 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series. The Python phenomenon developed from the television series into something larger in scope and impact, spawning touring stage shows, films, numerous albums, several books, and a stage musical. The group’s influence on comedy has been compared to The Beatles’ influence on music

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Finance and Economics Memes

Finance and Economics Memes and jokes

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Finance quotes:

About the time we can make the ends meet, somebody moves the ends. Herbert Hoover

A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it. William Feather

Memes for economists, financiers and accountants

Finance jokes:

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What do two plus two equal?” The mathematician replies “Four.” The interviewer asks “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says “Yes, four, exactly.”

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The accountant says “On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.”

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, “What do you want it to equal”?

 

Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it!”

 

A mathematician, a theoretical economist, and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn’t really exist) in a closed room with the lights off. The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn’t exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital. The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn’t exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy. The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spends one hour looking for the black cat that doesn’t exits and shouts from inside the room that he has caught it by the neck.”

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. J. Paul Getty

The people who know personal finance hide the money very carefully. James Altucher

Memes and jokes about economy, finance and accountancy

Jokes:

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes one and gives it to someone else.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and gives you the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and sells you the milk.
MILITARY DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The state takes both of them, accidentally kills one and spills the milk in the sewer.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair “Cowgate”.

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows.

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Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows,

Work
———- = Power
Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time =Money, we have

Work
——— = Knowledge
Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Work
———– = Money
Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the more money you Make.

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Heard at the Wharton School.

Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. “973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” Man picks one up and begins to walk away.

“Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” Man says sure. “You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?”

“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”

 

Three guys decide to play a round of golf: a priest, a psychologist, and an economist.

They get behind a *very* slow two-some, who, despite a caddy, are taking all day to line up their shots and four-putting every green, and so on. By the 8th hole, the three men are complaining loudly about the slow play ahead and swearing a blue streak, and so on. The priest says, “Holy Mary, I pray that they should take some lessons before they play again.” The psychologist says, “I swear there are people that like to play golf slowly.” The economist says, “I really didn’t expect to spend this much time playing a round of golf.”

By the 9th hole, they have had it with slow play, so the psychologist goes to the caddy and demands that they be allowed to play through. The caddy says O.K., but then explains that the two golfers are blind, that both are retired firemen who lost their eyesight saving people in a fire, and that explains their slow play, and would they please not swear and complain so loud.

The priest is mortified; he says, “Here I am a man of the cloth and I’ve been swearing at the slow play of two blind men.” The psychologist is also mortified; he says, “Here I am a man trained to help others with their problems and I’ve been complaining about the slow play of two blind men.”

The economist ponders the situation-finally he goes back to the caddy and says, “Listen, the next time could they play at night.

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, “Lets smash the can open with a rock.” The chemist says, “Let’s build a fire and heat the can first.” The economist says, “Lets assume that we have a can-opener…”

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All the economic systems explained with cows (click on the cow)

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Memes para Economistas, financieros y contables

 

Sources: memegenerator.com, guerrillastocktrading.com, quickmeme.com, andreafcecchin, 9gag.com, memecenter.com, quickmeme.com, memecrunch.com

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