Category Archives: Humor

Finance and Economics Memes

Finance and Economics Memes and jokes

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Finance quotes:

About the time we can make the ends meet, somebody moves the ends. Herbert Hoover

A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it. William Feather

Memes for economists, financiers and accountants

Finance jokes:

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What do two plus two equal?” The mathematician replies “Four.” The interviewer asks “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says “Yes, four, exactly.”

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The accountant says “On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.”

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, “What do you want it to equal”?

 

Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it!”

 

A mathematician, a theoretical economist, and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn’t really exist) in a closed room with the lights off. The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn’t exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital. The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn’t exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy. The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spends one hour looking for the black cat that doesn’t exits and shouts from inside the room that he has caught it by the neck.”

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. J. Paul Getty

The people who know personal finance hide the money very carefully. James Altucher

Memes and jokes about economy, finance and accountancy

Jokes:

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes one and gives it to someone else.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and gives you the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and sells you the milk.
MILITARY DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The state takes both of them, accidentally kills one and spills the milk in the sewer.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair “Cowgate”.

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows.

Financial Translation: Online Course:




Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows,

Work
———- = Power
Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time =Money, we have

Work
——— = Knowledge
Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Work
———– = Money
Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the more money you Make.

Embedded image permalink

Embedded image permalink

Heard at the Wharton School.

Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. “973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” Man picks one up and begins to walk away.

“Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” Man says sure. “You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?”

“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”

 

Three guys decide to play a round of golf: a priest, a psychologist, and an economist.

They get behind a *very* slow two-some, who, despite a caddy, are taking all day to line up their shots and four-putting every green, and so on. By the 8th hole, the three men are complaining loudly about the slow play ahead and swearing a blue streak, and so on. The priest says, “Holy Mary, I pray that they should take some lessons before they play again.” The psychologist says, “I swear there are people that like to play golf slowly.” The economist says, “I really didn’t expect to spend this much time playing a round of golf.”

By the 9th hole, they have had it with slow play, so the psychologist goes to the caddy and demands that they be allowed to play through. The caddy says O.K., but then explains that the two golfers are blind, that both are retired firemen who lost their eyesight saving people in a fire, and that explains their slow play, and would they please not swear and complain so loud.

The priest is mortified; he says, “Here I am a man of the cloth and I’ve been swearing at the slow play of two blind men.” The psychologist is also mortified; he says, “Here I am a man trained to help others with their problems and I’ve been complaining about the slow play of two blind men.”

The economist ponders the situation-finally he goes back to the caddy and says, “Listen, the next time could they play at night.

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, “Lets smash the can open with a rock.” The chemist says, “Let’s build a fire and heat the can first.” The economist says, “Lets assume that we have a can-opener…”

Financial Advice Dog

All the economic systems explained with cows (click on the cow)

vaca-meme

Memes para Economistas, financieros y contables

 

Sources: memegenerator.com, guerrillastocktrading.com, quickmeme.com, andreafcecchin, 9gag.com, memecenter.com, quickmeme.com, memecrunch.com

Financial Translator

Humor para traductores: “Instrucciones de una sandwichera”, por Berto Romero

Humor para traductores

Vídeo: Instrucciones de una sandwichera

formación para traductores

Berto Romero en Buenafuente

Divertidísimo análisis por parte de Berto Romero de una traducción pésima de las instrucciones de una sandwichera. Todavía me estoy riendo y necesitaba compartirlo. Tiene momentos realmente memorables. Los adjetivos se quedan cortos para definirlo:  gracioso, ocurrente, guasón, chistoso, salado, cachondo, entretenido, ameno, distraído, placentero… Aunque debo advertir a los fabricantes de sandwicheras y electrodomésticos en general que una mala traducción puede provocar accidentes y eso llevarlos a juicio. En fin, que la broma les puede salir muy cara.

Enlaces interesantes:

 regalos-para-linguistas-filologos-y-traductores

Harlem Shake en la Bolsa de Nueva York (Humor financiero)

Harlem Shake


Un poco de humor de vez en cuando no viene mal para relajarnos un poquito. Acabo de encontrar este vídeo en youtube, y me he reído mucho. Desconocía que se había organizado un Harlem Shake en la bolsa de Nueva York. ¿Queda algún lugar dónde todavía no se haya perpetrado el famoso baile colectivo? Me imagino que sí, pero cada vez quedan menos. He intentado averiguar si se trata de un montaje, pero parece que no. El evento tuvo lugar el 23 de febrero de 2013 ¡Ahora ya sabéis a qué se refieren cuando dicen que los mercados se han vuelto locos!

Cosas que parecen normales cuando eres traductor

Vídeos de humor para Traductores e Intérpretes

He aquí una recopilación de vídeos y gags relacionados con el mundo de la traducción y la interpretación. Desde “Cosas que parecen normales cuando eres traductor” a los grandísimos e inimitables Monty Python, pasando por Vaya Semanita y un coreano con malas pulgas.

***

Es el vídeo sobre traducción con más visitas en internet. ¡Un vídeo buenísimo y con un gran sentido del humor! Si aún no lo conoces, te lo recomiendo. Me he reído mucho. Cualquier traductor se verá reflejado de inmediato. La autora es Paula García. Aun así, amamos este trabajo 🙂

Kim Jong-Un y su intérprete… Ups… Mejor no digo nada…

Los de Vaya semanita, programa de humor de Euskal Telebista, también tienen sus gags de humor para traductores e intérpretes…

¿Y qué decir de este gran clásico del humor? Monty Python con su célebre sucia guía húngara. Un gag con final apoteósico…

“This book is la hostia”, New Times York

“¡Que quede claro que yo no soy el autor!”, Noam Chomsky

“Un libro de lectura obligada, literalmente. ¡Qué pesados los Nohay Chomskies, largaos ya del bar de una vez y dejad de leer en voz alta!”, Facundo Pérez, dueño de El Paquirri

“Misa no entender tusa”, Jar Jar Binks

ENLACES RECOMENDADOS

Te dejo aquí una lista de enlaces que espero que encuentres divertidos, útiles o interesantes:

Deseo que este post te haya divertido. Aprovecho la ocasión para saludarte afectuosamente.